Peeling back layers To expose Love
Peeling back layers to find our authentic selves is a life long, both daunting and rewarding, journey. The heroine’s journey. Only when journeying inward does one understand one’s own capabilities and how it can be expressed in the outer realms.
In my case, I felt stagnancy in my growth as a person and as a business. Repeating patterns were blasting me in the face and I knew I could no longer hide from my own past and shadows of unworthiness. What to do, I’ve been here before…. In the past I tried kundalini and surface level affirmations of positivity and knew this would no longer work. I had to crack my own shell and code before it cracked me. I could feel the verge of a shift, and I wanted to ride the wave instead of getting hit. I asked inwardly for guidance and they appeared in the familiar forms of herbs, friends, words, and things people would say to me. Looking around and seeing physical safety, I was able to give myself time and rest, much needed as I felt myself again. Who had I become? Covered in fear and using ego to gain strength, layer by layer I hid my fear and pains, as I stumbled forward in life, hanging on to a future i could barely see. I needed a Hard Reset. Instagram which was where I had birthed my visión, started to turn into a codependent relationship, as I sought approval before I felt myself feel full. My creations began to feel distanced from me, as I sought ways to survive. My mind trapped me into the cycle of unworthiness and loneliness. NO! I no longer wanted to survive but thrive! By turning to some unblocking techniques, and turning off social media, I could slowly breathe and feel all the tenseness in my body I had become numb to. I accepted my pain, I forgave the beating I had done to myself! I took baths, slept, and meditated with mantras playing in the background. My beautiful soul friends came to my rescue, and I could give what I could - myself. Still surface level, but it eased me into the things I knew I needed to do. I had to face my parents and the childhood lies I created in my mind that prevented me from moving forward. Some techniques I had heard of appeared in my mind, and listening to neural technique podcast marathons from “To Be Magnetic,” I started to list out the things I needed to unblock, clear, in order to expand. I like Lacy’s podcast because it balances the spiritual with the science, something I need in order to make sense of the world.
Slowly, I’m gaining my strength, flowers are calling me to heal using essences. I’m exploring again, my mind is active and my heart is getting bigger. Prana, breath, I can breathe life again.
Cacao Ecuador, local honey, with garden flowers: marigold, corn flower, pink yarrow
